As I Am pt3

Being a second year page filled me with a sense of accomplishment- even though i was still on the bottom rung of the food chain.  It was the sense of surviving the first year away from home and proving that you could do anything if you set your mind to it.


I was out with a few friends, on one of the few free days that we had.  We would spend the day exploring the city since there was so much if it and eat out where the locals said was a good place.  


Marvic and Stetcin were out with me and as we passed a more seedy looking inn the door opened and a body came flying out.  He landed and rolled to avoid serious injury.  


“If I catch you in my building again i’ll kill you!” Shouted a fat man- obviously the owner- as he marched out after the kid he’d thrown out.  He aimed a well placed kick to the boys stomach.  “Little sea urchin!  This is a high class inn and i won’t have nasty little creatures like you dirtying up the place!”


I winced at the kick and again at the name calling; recalling the same treatment.  Marvic tugged my arm motioning that we should leave but i shook my head.  I hadn’t been able to do anything myself that night, but i could now.  Being a trainee gave me status of my own over the lower class in the city.  It was shown by the pendant we wore on our left shoulder which i made sure was the first thing this inn keeper saw as i pulled him off the kid.


“What do you want,” he snapped.  he may have been forced to show me respect, but he didn’t have to like it.  “Can’t you see i’m busy?”


“Oh yes,” I nodded, stepped closer to him so he could hear my next words and almost gagged.  “Just thought...you should know that sea urchins are poisonous.  Threaten them too much, and you’ll die.”


“What?” he frowned at me confused.  I sighed this time not holding back my annoyance.  So i grabbed the front of his grimy shirt and apron and pulled him forward.


“Don’t you dare treat anyone like this again or so help me i’ll burn your nasty inn to the ground to save us all from pestilence,” I said.  “Now go bathe or something before we all die from the stench.”


I shoved him away and wiped my hands on my breeches.  


“What did you do that for?” Stetcin asked scowling at me.  “Look at him.  Its only a Coastal.”


I was looking.  the kid was picking himself up slowly, no doubt he was winded and bruised.  I shrugged.


“I see no difference,” I said looking at my friends.  “he has brown hair, just like me.  His eyes are blue like yours, and he’s about the same height.  Who cares what blood runs through his veins?”


This earned worried looks from the others and i shrugged again.  They had been raised the same way i had, but they hadn’t walked a Coastal city at night like i had.  They had not researched both countries history or read about the sea.  The boy began to walk away but i stopped him.


“Come with us,” I said in his language and made my friends shrink back.  The boy gave me a scathing look and pulled away from me.  “We’re about to get something to eat and i have a question to ask of you.”


“I don’t need your charity,” he slurred and i noticed his mouth was bleeding.


“No, but you do need a healer,” I replied and grabbed his arm.  I remembered passing one a few streets back and i dragged him behind me much like Breaker did to me.  I grinned at the thought.  My friends followed reluctantly.


“Excuse me,” I called as i entered the healers store.  “There’s someone here that needs your attention.”


A young girl walked out of the back and waited for my to continue.  I pushed the boy forward.


“He’s bleeding and needs attention,” I said, “I’ll be paying.”


She nodded and made to guide us into the back but the boy backed up again.


“I said i don’t-”


“Yes,” I replied and shoved him towards the back room. “Don’t need it, noted, and ignored.  Don’t think of it as charity, think of it as my selfish whim.”


I would be lying if i said i didn’t feel some satisfaction from this.  It was like repaying the favor i received from Breaker.  I stood by as the girl checked him out.


“Hey, Jezvarha,” Stetcin nudged me, “‘we’re supposed to meet Thagen at the Jaggers Eatery.  you did your good deed for the day, now let’s go.”


But I shook my head again.


“I said i needed to talk to him about something and i mean it.  He can eat with us; i’ll pay so don’t worry about it.”


“What could you-”


“Here,” the girl appeared in between us handed me a slip of paper.  “Its nothing serious.  Cuts and bruises, buy these at the apothecary next door and you can go.”


“Thank you,” I grinned at her and grabbed the boy before he could slip past me and escape.  “Come, good stranger, and share a meal with us.”


“I don’t want to!” he shouted, but i grinned all the more.  


“You will once we talk,” I said and laughed as i dragged him from the healers and into the apothecary where i bought the medicine and then back out.  By then my friends had lost patience with me and had continued on.  I followed after them to the place we’d agreed to meet.  


however when i entered the eatery we agreed to i saw no sign of them.  More than like they’d gone elsewhere.  I shrugged to myself and sat us down at a table in the corner.  


“What do you want,” he seethed at me as i ordered.  


“That’s my line,” i replied casually, “what do you want?  This place has good soup that wont hurt the cut in your mouth too much.  But if its not serious, then i suggest the meat pie.  The gravy is amazing.”


I caught the incredulous look on his face and i ordered him the soup and meat pie.  He could choose once it was here.


“This place is pretty loud,” I said tapping my finger on the table as we waited for our food.  “Can bearly hear myself think.”


“Great,” he snapped, “Does that mean i have to wait for you to drag me somewhere else before you tell me what you want?”


I shook my head and thought my face would split from the grin that i felt there.


“No, because you can hear me just fine here,” I said happiliy, “Not many people can you know.”


“What does that have to do you with you dragging me all over the city?”


“Well, i thought about offering you a job,” I said smiling at the waitress as she broght over our food.


“A job,” he said eyeing the food in front of us.  He was hungry, i knew, but i also saw that he didn’t want to accept something that looked like pitty.  


“Yes,” I said digging into my pie. “My servant is down and bedridden.  I can’t speak any louder than this, so adopting a servant from the castle is impossible.  A servant is no good if they don’t know what i want or they can’t hear my orders.  You have very good ears and I have need of them, at least until my servant can work again.  Of course you will be paid for your work and i won’t keep you any longer than it will take.”


I hoped he would accept.  there was no way i could go from the field to the classrooms if i had to draw the bath myself, and being smelly wasn’t permissible in the classrooms.


“Your...servant,” he repeated and i took note of the disdain in his voice and eyes.  “Did you think just cause you helped me out i’d serve you?”


“Course not,” I scowled, “I told you i’d pay you.  I didn’t notice your good ears until i realised you answered me on a busy and noisy street without me speaking right into your ear.  you have no idea how liberating it is to speak without people asking me to repeat myself. I hope you’ll say yes, but if you really don’t want to then that’s fine too.  I just couldn’t let go till i asked you up front.”  


“What happens if i refuse?”  he asked.


“Well,” I said tilting my head at him. “you can walk away at any time.  Though, if i were you, i’d finish the free food before refusing outright.”


He huffed at me, hesitated, and then attacked both the soup and the pie.  I sat back and thought about what i’d do if he refused.  The castle servants were used to orders being shouted at them on a regular basis. There’s no way they’d understand my hand signals or even hear me if they weren’t looking at me.  They probably couldn’t even read lips.  It was an annoying problem, but one i could handle until Homel got better.  


“how much,” he asked after a moment.


“Oh, i’d say two silver to start; of course that includes clothes, a place to sleep, food, shoes, all of which are provided by me, and you can keep that is given to you when you leave.”


“And all i gotta do is…”


“Draw a bath before i get back from the field, lay out my clothing; i can get myself dressed if you don’t like that sort of thing.  Do you sew?”


“Does it look like i do?” he asked rolling his eyes.


“No...but you can learn.  you’ll also take my clothes to the wash, make the bed and keep it tidy.  Start the fire in the morning and the evening.  If you have any questions further i’m sure you can ask one of the other servants for advice.  Homel will give you the precise time table to follow and list of jobs.”


“Mmm,” He seemed to almost be interested, but not anymore.  I couldn’t blame him really.


“heres the deal,” he said leaning forward. “I’ll do it for the pay and all, but you also have to promise me that no matter what, you never hit me.  Got it?”


“Never,” I agreed. “So what do I call you?”


“Sam,” he said after a bit of a pause.  “You?”


“Jezvarha, but in private you can call me Jess,” I said in high spirits.  “I hope this will work out.”


“I really don’t know what you expect of me,” Sam said shaking his head.


“You’ll get used to it,” I said standing.  “Follow me.”


I payed the keep and made my way back to the trainee building.  however i did make stops at a few stores to get him outfitted and found out something else.


“You’re a girl,” I stated as she scowled at the shop attendant.


“Not that surprising, is it?” She snapped.  “Anyone woulda guessed that standing as close as you are.”


Sam, a girl, not a boy.  


“Mr,” I said to the attendant, “lets fit her out as a male.  make her a few nice feminine outfits, but mostly male outfits.”


“how about no girl clothes, make it simple,” She said wincing as the needle priked her waist.


“It will be fine,” I said, “We don’t know what will happen in the future, so its best to cover all the possibilities.”


“Its not my fault you didn’t notice,” she mumbled.


“True, but it doesn’t matter,” I waved the matter aside.  “I’ll go inquire at the cobblers.  I’ll be back in a moment.”


If I were to believe everything the kitchen maids prattled about, shoes were something girls liked a lot.  maybe i should have waited for her to pick out what she wanted.  I turned about, coming to a decision when i ran into Stetcin again.


“Hello,” i said pleasantly. I had no reason to be mad at them.  I understood why they were upset.


“I was sent out to look for you,” he said, “Sir Havish said its time you get back.”


“Is it that late?” I turned and ran to the cobblers, quickly picked out two pairs of shoes, and a pair of boots that looked like they’d fit her and ran back to the shop.  


“Jezvarha!  We have to go back!  what are you doing?”


“Outfitting a new servant,” I said half turning my head. “I’ll be there before the bell, promise!”


He didn’t follow me and again, i couldn’t blame him.  Sir Havish was brutal to those who were late.


*


We made it through the doors just as the temple bell rang its last.  As fit as i’d become over the past year, i was gasping for air.  It didn’t help that Sir Havish was standing right there.  I stood at attention and waited.


“You cut it too close, Gramm,” he growled. “What’s this?”


“New servant, Sir,” I said, “My current one is sick and i needed a replacement.  I’m late because i’ve been outfitting her as is my duty as her employer.”


“Its a girl?”  He asked and i had to wince a little at his astonishment.


“Yes Sir,” I replied, “however she will be in mens clothing as a protection of sorts.”


Sam opened her mouth to say something but i nudged her foot with mine.  she looked and me and i shook my head slightly.  Servants were to keep silent.  While this exchange happened Sir Havish nodded.


“Very well,” he said, “not a bad idea.  the first years this year have a lot to learn.”


He grumbled on as he walked away.  when he was safe and gone i leaned against the wall and heaved a sigh of relief.  That could have gone sour in a blink of an eye.


“Gosh, that guys huge,” Sam said still looking after Sir Havish.  “I’d hate to be on the other side of his back hand.”


I chuckled, “you don’t have to worry about that if you mind your place.  Servants don’t speak out of place, they do as they are told without talking back, and do not show that look to anyone.”


“What look?”


“That look that says, ‘do what you will, but i’ll do what i want’, it can also be interpreted as defiance, rudeness, and someone might take it upon themselves to discipline you for me.”


“you promised i wouldn’t be hit,” she said her look now accusing.  


“I will never hit you, and i will do my best to prevent others, but you have to understand that i will be gone while you’re going about your duties.  If something happens without my knowledge, there’s nothing i can do about it, understand?”


She swore in a very unlady like fashion but nodded, “I’ll try.”


“That’s all we can do, and all that i can ask,” I said beckoning her to follow me.  When i entered the room i saw Homel up and trying to air the floor rug.


“Get back into bed Homel,” I chided as i dropped my coat onto the bed.


“But-” he stopped when he saw Sam.  I saw the look on his face and my heart nearly broke.


“I’m not replacing you,” I said hurriedly.  “Sam will only be here till you get better.  I hope you can instruct her- from your bed- all the things she needs to do.”


“I can still-” this time he stopped because of a coughing fit.  


“I want you to get better as soon as possible,” I said walking up to him.  “I realized just how much you actually do and i don’t know how long i’ll survive without you.”


I said the last bit out of humor, but he seemed distressed about it.  I finally got him into bed and asked Sam to go fetch the buildings healer.


“Its down the stairs and to the right,” I said.  She nodded, took a deep breath and left.  She would do fine- i hoped.  I opened my wardrobe and pulled out a decent outfit for tomorrow morning.  The door opened and i looked up expecting Sam and the healer, but instead it was Marvic.


“Hey,” he said looking at me laying out my own clothes. “Heard your servant is sick and got a new one?”


Stetcin had a chatty mouth.


“Yes, I sent the new one to fetch the healer for Homel,” I said. “There’s no rule saying i can’t take care of myself a little until he’s better.”


“No,” he said cautiously, “but is there one about having a Coastal for a servant?”


I stopped and thought about it.


“Not that i recall,” I said seriously.  “I’m allowed to appoint anything i see fit enough to serve me.  This Coastal happens to be just what i’m looking for.”


“Oh, i see,” he said, still a little hesitant.


“What is the matter,” I asked finally, “You and Stetcin have acted oddly since this afternoon.”


“Look, we just,” again he hesitated, then he shook it off and dove right in, “Coastals are not allowed high positions!  So what that they don’t look too different, a Coastal is a Coastal.  You already get called out for having an accent, now you have a Coastal Servant?  some might start to think you’re starting a rebellion.”


I laughed; really hard.


“Marvic,” I said once i’d controlled myself, “If the Coastals planned any sort of rebellion, they would have done so years ago.  What on earth would i gain by even starting one much less one that would ultimately fail?  I love my country, Marvic, and anyone who can’t see that has no business passing judgment in the first place.”


“Even if that someone is the prince?”


That took me by surprise.


“Does the prince think I’ll usurp his brothers throne?” i asked making it clear that it was not even his to be protecting in the first place.


“Jezvarha, i’m only saying what you will probably hear yourself later.  So get rid of that Coastal now and save yourself the headache.”


“No,” I said, my stubbornness rearing its ugly head.  “My servant is my business.  Sam has excellent hearing which is what i need. Not some castle servant who is half deaf from being yelled at all day and night.  My reasons are purely practical, that’s all.”


“I’ll believe you,” he said giving what i bet he thought was a friendly smile.  “Its just that a lot  of people are talking and i thought you should know.”


“Thank you Marvic,” I said as the door opened again this time it was Sam and the healer.  I pointed to the back, “If you would Madam Yester.”


With Marvic gone i turned my attention to Sam.


“Build a fire,” I told her.  “I usually have a study group coming, but then again, i don’t know anymore.”


“So, do i build the fire?” She asked.  I thought about her confusion and then realized that i’d said too much.


“Yes,” i said, “Build the fire and finish airing out the rug.  Then find out from the healer how contagious the illness Homel has.  If its not safe to occupy the same room you can either make a bed in front of the fire, or i can ask if a cot could be brought in for you.”


The desk had been moved to use the window, so i spread my work out on the bed.  Sitting cross-legged it took me a while before i realized she was beating the rug as if she were taking out every grievance in hers and everyone elses life on that poor rug.  


“What,” she snapped as she caught me staring.  “This is how you do it, right?”


“Oh yes,” I said trying not to laugh, “Its just i’m feeling very sorry for the dust mites.  I don’t think they’ll be coming back here for many a moon after that beating.”


“Do you want this thing clean or not,” she glared at me and grinned.


“yes, i do.  Its just i’ve never seen anyone clean a rug so vehemently before.”


“Whatever that means,” she rolled her eyes and went back to making the rug wish it had never been weaved.