(i know i've posted this before, but just re-read it.)
My sister sent this uber long ago. Its still funny...to me anyway.

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth
and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is
a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend,
or significant other!!

>> >DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
>> >
>> >SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
>> >
>> >SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
>> >
>> >ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
>> >
>> >SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
>> >
>> >SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
>> >
>> >ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
>> >
>> >SAFER: What did I do wrong?
>> >
>> >SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
>> >
>> >ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
>> >
>> >SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
>> >
>> >SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
>> >
>> >ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
>> >
>> >SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
>> >
>> >SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
>> >
>> >ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.


I know i talk about chocolate ...a LOT... But i really mean it this time. Life pointed at me and laughed and said "pishhh, sucks to be you. I wouldn't be you even if you paid me!"
Therefore i have come to the conclusion that Life is male.-_-